Dec 13, 2016

UP alumnus hits De Lima for receiving an award: Saba-eating contest ba ‘yan?

UP alumnus hits De Lima for receiving an award: Saba-eating contest ba ‘yan?
NEWSKUPOW!!! by Mr. Ben Beñares
UP alumnus hits De Lima for receiving an award: Saba-eating contest ba ‘yan?

MAY LUMAYAS, MAY NANDURO, MAY NA-CCTV!!
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*****
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DOÑA DE LEILA UMALIS NG PILIPINAS
noong Linggo, December 11
para tumanggap ng award sa America.
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Award talaga??
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Saba-eating contest ba ‘yan???
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*****
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TAPOS NITO AY TUTULOY SI SABA QUEEN
sa Germany for speaking engagements daw.
.
Really??
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Ano ang topic,
HOW TO SEDUCE YOUR DRIVER?
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*****
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O baka naman…
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HOW TO BE A HOMEWRECKER… DISCREETLY
(Paano magpanggap na santa-santita).
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*****
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TEKA, DI BA WALA TAYONG
extradition treaty with Germany?
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Paano kung mag-seek ng asylum ‘yun doon?
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Paano na si Ronnie??
Si Joenel??
Si Warren??
Si Jaybee??
Si Makoy??
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*****
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DOÑA DE LEILA:
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"I hope my brief absence would provide
a welcome relief and respite
to my detractors and critics.
I will keep them in mind though"
.
Don’t worry po.
They will keep you in mind din
habang hinahanda ang mga kasong
isasalubong sa ‘yo pagbalik mo.
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#PasalubongHa
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*****
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TENSION FLARES BETWEEN TRILLANES
AND GORDOON OVER EJK REPORT
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Nag-walkout kaya ulit si Boy Bintang?
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*****
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TRILLANES ATTACKED GORDON
and the committee report:
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Hindi lang ‘yon,
dinuro pa nito si Sen. Gordon
habang pumapasok ito (Gordon)
sa session hall.
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Ang explanation niya later,
tinuturo n’ya lang daw niya si Gordon
“to convey his desire to question him
about the committee report.”
.
Boy Palusot.
Boy Duro.
Boy Angas.
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*****
TRILLANES:
"Talagang this is a piece of garbage,
ang committee report."
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It takes one to know one.
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#BasuraAlamAngAmoyNgBasura
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*****
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TINAWAG DIN NI TRILLANES SI GORDON
na isang “lackey” (tuta) ni Pres. Duterte.
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Tuta daw si Gordon?
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Eh sino ba itong kahol ng kahol??
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#BoyBulldog
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****
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TRILLANES TO GORDON:
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“Don’t lie, Senator,
because yan ay bad behavior.”
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Yeah, and that’s coming
from a senator with GOOD behavior???
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Patayan kita ng mike d’yan eh!!!
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#SabayWalkOut
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*****
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SABI NAMAN NI SEN. GORDON
Trillanes and De Lima should have presented
enough evidence to prove Matobato
is a credible witness and sufficient proof
that the DDS really existed.
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Totoo naman pong may DDS eh!
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DIGONG DUTERTE SUPPORTERS.
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Search n’yo pa sa FB.
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*****
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SEN. GORDON:
“Well, they were not able to present evidence.
And if they have a long running feud with the President
they should not take it out on the committee.
Why is it so personal?”
.
Eh, because…
the price is right po.
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#BayarangTagakahol
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*****
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SEN, GORDON:
“Is he (Trillanes) so weak of mind,
so weak of integrity that he could not
argue on the floor?
He goes out of the Senate
and starts attacking us.”
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Ganyan po talaga ang mga duwag at…
TRAYDOR.
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(May nag-ouch bang hitard?)
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*****
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SINULAT KO ITO A FEW MONTHS AGO
(at inulit ko sa November 2 isyu ng Newskupow!):
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GANITO NA LANG,
if you REALLY are concerned
about these criminals /.addicts and their rights…
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MAG-AMPON KAYO NG KAHIT ISA.
Patirahin n’yo sa bahay n’yo.
.
Ipagdarasal namin kayo.
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*****
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KAGABI (DEC 12), ITO ANG SABI NI TATAY DIGONG:
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“If you want, kayong mga bleeding hearts,
if you really want to stop the violence ganoon,
mag-adopt na lang. Adopt ng addict.”
.
Nabasa ni Tatay Digong ang utak ko?!
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O baka…. nagbabasa siya ng “Newskupow!”??!!
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#WishfulThinking
#Feelingero
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*****
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ITO PO YUNG NOVEMBER 9 NEWSKUPOW!
In case gusto n’yong magbalik-tanaw.
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https://www.facebook.com/ben.banares/posts/10153964361899149
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*****
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TIMELY GIFT FROM THE DUTERTE GOVERNMENT:
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Simula po sa December 25,
all balikbayan boxes worth up to P150k
will not be taxed.
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May angal pa ba ang mga hitard (haters) diyan?
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Kung meron, eh di…
TAX-AN SILA!!!
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#ParaWalangAngal
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*****
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GANYAN BA ANG PSYCHOPATH, ha,
Engot Isidro??
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*****
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ITO ANG POST KO NOONG NOV. 29, 2016:
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NAGPA-PANIC NA NAMAN SI TUESDAY NIU (dzbb)
habang nire-report at dine-describe
ang ginagawa ng BOMB SQUAD
na pag-usisa sa isang black knapsack
na iniwan sa ibaba ng ORTIGAS FLYOVER
(sa pagitan ng mga bakal na railings
sa tapat ng EDSA Shrine).
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ANO ANG LAMAN NG BAG?
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2 sapatos na panlalaki
2 sapatos na pambabae
towels
shirts
and…
lots and lots of HANGERS.
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LABADA KO ‘YAN!!!
AKIN PO YAN!!!!
BAKIT NAPUNTA D'YAN??!!!
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*****
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KASALANAN PO ‘YAN NI INDAY,
ang aking assistant.
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Kapag nakaisip kasi na maglakwatsa,
kung anu-ano ang nalilimuntan.
.
Haiz.
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*****
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DECEMBER 9, 2016
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NAGKAROON NG PANIC SA ISANG TIANGGE
sa Commonwealth Avenue, Q.C.
dahil sa Isang black bag
na natagpuan dito.
.
Tinawag agad ang bomb squad
at nang buksan nila ang black bag,
tumambad sa kanila ang…
BAGONG LUTONG KANIN!!!
.
INDAY!!!!!
Kaya pala nagpapak tayo ng ulam
nung gabing ‘yon!!!!
.
Lumapit-lapit ka nga dito!!!
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*****
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May Christmas carol singing contest sa radyo…
.
DZXL LADY ANCHOR TO CALLER (CONTESTANT):
Mahilig ka ba talaga kumanta?
CONTESTANT:
Opo. Sumasali po ako sa mga singing contests.
LADY ANCHOR:
Ayun! Kumakanta ka pala talaga!
Ako kapag umeebak lang kumakanta. Hahaha!!!
Joke, joke!!!
Sabi kasi nila mas maganda raw
ang boses natin kapag tumatae tayo.
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Aray ko!!! Ang tenga ko!!!
Akala ko ba joke??
Eh dinagdagan mo pa, eh!!!
Anuveyyy?!!!
.
Nasaan na yung pinabiling suka ng nanay mo, ‘teh?
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#TawaginAngMTCRB
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*****
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TICKETS SA MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT
na gagawin dito sa Pinas sa January 2017
ay mula P8,000 hanggang P50,000.
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Wow.
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Ang daming saba nun!!
.
Hihintayin ko na lang sa sidewalk.
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#DibidiDibidi
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*****
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2 IMMIGRATION DEPUTY COMMISSIONERS
nahuli sa CCTV na tumanggap ng P50 MILLION
extortion money mula kay Jack Lam.
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Sino yung dalawa?
Sina Atty. Michael Robles at Atty. Al Argosino.
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Yan na ba ang natutunan nila sa law school??
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*****
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BAKA NAMAN MANONOOD
ang buong barangay nila
ng Miss Universe.
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*****
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BUT WAIT... THERE'S MORE!!!
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Fraternity brods ni Pres. Digong at Sec. Aguirre
ang dalawang bugok na ito!!!
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Tatay Digong,
walang brod-brod dapat 'yan, ha?
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*****
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44 TAUHAN NG LTFRB SA BUONG BANSA,
sinibak dahil sa katiwalian!
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Ilang dekada na pala nila itong ginagawa.
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Nadale sila ng #ChangeIsComing
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Pasok, Sir Maike Enriquez!!
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"Hindi naming kayo tatantanan!!!"


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